About three weeks ago Lexy brought home a very bad grade in math. The following week I spent every night with her studying and going through every one of her homework problems. We stayed up till midnight most nights. It was NUTS!! So I told her that her father and I talked about her grade in math and if she did not pass her next math test she would not be able to go to her first BIG Christmas party with 7th and 8th graders, that everyone was so excited about. Since school started she has failed every math test given. I thought this would be a great motivation for her to do good. The morning before the test I woke her up early and quizzed her over a couple of thing. " I know mom, I got it," was what I heard from her as I gave her math rules to work out problems. So her test was on a Friday and she didn't get her test back till Wednesday of the following week. Which every day after I picked her up from school I would ask her if she got her math test back, NO, not today is what she would tell me. However, on Wednesday I did not ask her as soon as she got in my car, I didn't ask her at all! We had to go shopping Wednesday right after school for an outfit for the party. So after an hour and a half of shopping we found something to wear. As we got into the car from our shopping I said, " hey did you get your test back?" She said, " Well I asked the teacher if there was any extra credit to do and......" WAIT!! I have been asking you for your test the past two days and your telling me that you got it back and you didn't tell me? Well you didn't ask! she said. WHAT!!!! So what did you make? I asked her. She said well I'm not going to be able to go to the party! And she told me her grade. At this point I was so mad at her I didn't talk to her the rest of the way home. We came home, I helped her with her math homework for the night and that was that. So Friday rolls around and she knew she was not going to the party that evening. She had another math test, and she had the teacher grade it for her before leaving school hoping that she did well enough to go to the party. Well she did! She just passed the test! Which is what I told her. I had told her I didn't expect her to ace every test but a least pass them. So Friday she came home with a smile and as soon as she got in the car she blurted out I passed my math! WOW! Lex that's great!! I knew you could do it!! I was so proud of her. Then the dreaded question...So can I go to the party? I looked at her and told her that even though I was so excited that she passed, her punishment for failing her last test was not going to the party. Friday night came and went and I had one very sad 12 year old. Tino said we needed to stick with what we decided. It was very hard but we did, she said it was the hardest punishment ever!! So I'm wondering...what would you have done? If you don't have children yet, what was the worst punishment your parents followed through with? OH, and this week tomorrow actually, she has her math comprehension final!! Pray for wisdom and confidence.
7 comments:
Wow, I can imagine that it's so hard to "execute" the punishment. I've had a minor minor taste of that as a nanny, esp when it was inconvenient for me. You are a great mother and Tino is a great father, even if your kids don't "like" you at the time, they respect you, and when they get older they'll be grateful you stuck to your word. Seriously, at my age (27) I'm grateful for so many little things that my mom stuck to her guns on. One example (because you asked for it) was cleaning the dishes. We never ever went to bed with dinner dishes in the sink and my brother and I almost always had to clean them. One time my mom woke me up and had me re-clean a pot that was really really poorly washed (ok that's slightly crazy I agree).
You are the MEANEST mom E-V-E-R.
Just kidding!! Man its hard being a kid. You all did the right thing. Hopefully she gets it. And I pray that she passes her final. Just Hs her and then you dont have to do homework till midnight or get out in the cold in the mornings::))
Awwww, well, hang in there! It seems like when we were kids and we got punished, it was the worst thing that ever happened to us but now that I look back, I am soooo glad that I was punished. It teaches them valuable lessons and makes them strive harder. I think you did the right thing, even though it broke your heart, but she WILL thank you for it later! Hope this helps! :-)
ooh, tough situation! Like Vic said, it's tough being a kid, but sometimes I think it's tougher being the parent. I'll bet you were as sad as she was about not being able to go.
I would have done the same thing. One of our biggest issues with the kids not being disciplined in certain areas I can honestly say is in part because I tend to be so inconsistent with them. I say I'll give them a consequence for not obeying or something, but then I tend to forget to deliver the discipline if they fail. I'm trying to get better at this!
You did good, Mama!
I'll send up a prayer for her math final.
I sent you a comment last night, did you get it?
Crystal, I don't know what happened. I usually check my messages on my phone and sometimes forget to hit the publish button. It's so funny you talk about the dishes. It was the same at our house, to this day my mom does not have a dishwasher and I still do the dishes when we got for a visit.
I know it must have been so hard to follow through with that punishment. I can imagine Lexy's disappointment! I am so proud of you for doing it, though! I need to be more consistent too. Thanks for setting the example!
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